we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I love you. Go after that dick
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
