she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize