yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
