Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
