On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
