everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize