i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize