It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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