$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
