I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
