Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
