I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
