She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
