worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
