dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
