Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
