'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
