Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
