I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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