I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize