My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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