If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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