hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
