I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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