You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
