Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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