hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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