shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
