my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
