He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
