the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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