I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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