Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
