Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
