Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
