There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
