Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
