You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
