drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
