best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
