I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize