Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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