At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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