So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
