I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
