Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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