He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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