my vag is so smooth its legendary
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
