Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
