Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
