I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
