1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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