Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
