if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Did I show you my penis last night?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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