I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
