How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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